Workin’ On Stuff

I’ve been meaning to get better with my photography. I’ve been taught that the best photography doesn’t use filters and Photoshop Actions but I’ve come to realize that some of my favorite ones have been through filters or actions. So I’ve decided to start trying to use more of them.

For now I’ve purchased a few actions that are very complex (and saves about 30 minutes of editing time). My goal, in my spare time, is to learn exactly what these actions do, how to create it with out running the action and how to use them and tweak them to make my own style. I’ve always loved the very light style in photos, so that’s what I’m going for.

Speaking of working on stuff, James and I have decided to overhaul the office. James got a new computer for his birthday and so he needed a desk. The only way to get a desk in there is to basically do an overhaul and purge of the office. Every time we move, the office is “the dump” area. If we don’t know where something goes, we throw it in the office. This way it’s out of the way and the cats can’t get to it.

Not anymore! This past weekend we started the overhaul process. We bought James a desk and set up. It’s already saved us space! We also purchased a nice filing cabinet that is big enough to hold James’ tower (computer) and the printer as well as giving me more space for filing which I am in great need of. The filing cabinet also frees up two boxes in our closet which is really packed. This will make it easier for this weekend when James has to clean out the closet and put in shelves. He’s building a custom shelving system in the small closet which will give us more storage options and get this horribly broken plastic three drawer thing out of the closet. I have so many ideas on how to organize so I’m pretty excited. This also means that we will be able to find everything that we want to give to Goodwill and actually be able to drop off the stuff next weekend instead of it sitting in our office.

Concerns For A Friend

Loosing a friend is definitely an emotional toll. I went through the fall out of, what I thought was a good friendship some time last summer.

It started when she misunderstood a status I had put on Facebook thinking I was talking about her when I clearly was not. She then basically flipped out on me, we had a disagreement and then she stopped talking to me and unfriended me on Facebook. She then finally sent me an e-mail saying that I act like a pinched child and that she doesn’t think we could or should be friends. She also said it had nothing to do with my thoughts on politics (which is random because none of our disagreement was about politics) and then goes on to say how wrong my ideas on politics are anyway. But the funny thing is how childish she was being – she said that if I responded to the e-mail that I should know I’d never hear from her again.

The whole thing was completely out of the blue. I spent months thinking I had done something really wrong (other than be bad at disagreements and explaining my opinion lol). I even had bad dreams about it. Then, a few weeks ago, she hacked her husbands Facebook page and had him unfriend me and block me from even finding him or herself on Facebook.

I ended up posting about how I thought my friend had gone overboard. Then one of whom I thought was a close friend of hers (they were close friends in high school and at LSCC) messaged me. They said that our friend had basically done the same thing to them and is barely friends with her other close friend. This only confirms what James had told me when she first ended our friendship.

We’ve all kind of come to this conclusion that she  just decided to change everything about herself ( for example – theology, politics, etc) and was just looking for an excuse to cut ties with any old friends who felt differently (no matter how big or small that difference was) because she feels threatened by different opinions for some strange reason. We also feel that as good as we think things are going for her, she probably feels unhappy with where she is in life and might not have enough emotional support from certain people in her life.

After we talked I’ve come to realize that she unfriended people when good things started happening to us. The one friend left for college and got in where she wanted to and was in a great relationship. When she unfriended me, James and I had just moved to Austin and bought our first house and a brand new Honda Fit (which is not *that* cheap of a car). Basically we were all happy and it seems like she was jealous and the only thing she could do to make herself feel better was to find excuses to end our friendships so she wouldn’t be reminded of how happy her friends are.

We’ve all also agreed that none of us dislike her and kind of just feel sorry for her. If anything, we’re all still kind of confused. I know me personally, I’d still be willing to be her friend. I know she’s probably having a tough time with school and having had to move clear across the country from everyone she knows and it can be very stressful. I still consider her my friend. I always forgive and forget. I just want to move on.  I know some of her other friends that she did the same thing to will also probably still be friends with her again if she asks. And if she ever wants to be friends again I will be here waiting.

Doing Alright

Last Friday I had my 2 week appointment with my OB/GYN and got the pathology results. As far as the *why,* it was nothing we could have done. In fact, it was chromosomal and they were actually surprised my little *leach* made it to 9 weeks. Normally something like that would have terminated itself right about when I should have started my next cycle. Instead, it continued for another 4 weeks. On some level that’s good. My body was able to care for something and everything kept it alive for longer than it normally would have. That gives me high hopes for when we try again. As long as it comes together correctly next time, everything should go good.

Another thing I found out was that I lost 4lbs! OMG you have NO idea how important that is to me. This means that I’m finally on the right dose of levothyroxine! Unfortunately it took me getting pregnant for them to increase it but he said that as long as I feel good and I finally feel comfortable with how the symptoms are, I can stay on it. And the best part is, because I was trying to let everything heal I never went to the gym yet I still lost 4lbs! I just can’t believe it. I haven’t lost any pounds in the last 5 years due to the hypothyrodism and it’s taken 3 to get it under control.

And now, after everything, I finally feel great; like everything is under control, both body and life, once again.

Hard Start to 2012

I suppose I should be able to start this entry with “Happy New Year – 2012! It’s off to a great start!” … but my start wasn’t so great.

My vacation for Christmas went so well. I announced that James and I were having a baby and gave my parents grandparent items. Everyone was so happy and congratulated us – the baby of the family was having a baby.

New Year came and James and I drove back to TX. When we got home, I had a minor scare and called the Dr. They dismissed it as it was a normal thing and I still felt fine. Then, last Friday, the 6th, I had another scare… it was worse than before, but I still felt fine – no pain, no weird feelings, just… fine. But this time it freaked me out so much I requested to go in. They scheduled me for 11AM ultrasound.

After feeling impatient, it was finally my turn to go in and I was hoping everything was fine. I had no reason to worry. I had felt fine from day one. At first she tried to use one tool, thinking I should be far enough along that she could use it. She couldn’t see the fetus so she had to use the other tool. It took me all of 2 seconds to realize that there was no fluttering on the screen. My heart sank as I realized that my little one was no longer with me. She then tried to use the sound, but nothing was there and she declared that I had a missed miscarriage. According to the size I had miscarried almost 2 weeks 3 days before – just about 1 week before Christmas… before I even left for vacation and announced it to everyone. My body, obviously, hadn’t really caught on to this fact. But now that I think of it, I could see the signs were going away over the vacation.

The whole time I never had any symptoms. I guess that should have been my first clue something wasn’t right. I had, at most, tiredness. Nothing else. At first I thought I was just lucky, but having done some research, it’s usually not a great sign. It means I might not have had enough progesterone in my system. Apparently if you have even mild nausea or even full blown morning sickness, that’s a good sign that things are going great. Now, you don’t HAVE to have it, but studies have shown that women that had those symptoms were more likely to carry to term. Another thing I should have noticed, was during Christmas. I had an easier time sleeping on my stomach and certain things were less sore. All symptoms that things had… stopped.

After talking with my OB, we decided it would be best (both physically and mentally) to have a D&C. She scheduled me for 4PM that day and I had to be in at 2. I immediately called James and told him the unfortunate news. He got to the hospital in time for my appointment and they got me all checked in. After I got all set up and it was time to go back, the last thing I remember is being wheeled out into the hallway right after James kissed me. Next thing I know I’m waking up to someone moaning down across the room and my nurse typing at the computer next to me. She was very funny and was surprised at how quickly I woke up. Apparently I do very well with anesthesia, thought this time it made me nauseous any time I sat up.

James then took me home and we just sat on the couch and watched TV. We didn’t end up crying much until the next day when things really set in.

I personally think that it hit James harder than it hit me. I think on some level my subconscious kinda knew what happened and so it was easier for me to face it. For James, it was like a slap across the face. I think over the vacation it had finally sunk in that he was going to be a dad but then just a few weeks later, all of a sudden, he wasn’t. And because of that, the majority of the times I’ve cried is not for me, but for James and my parents. I really really hate seeing James so upset. It really breaks my heart and I don’t know what to do to make it better. All I can do is sit with him and hug him. I just wish I could do more.

When we finally got to the point where we didn’t cry all the time, we decided to look up how others handled miscarriage. What did other people do? We found that most people buy or plant something in memory so I had started looking for jewelry for myself or a placard or something we could put in our garden. I then got an idea using something we already had.

I had told James a day before our actual anniversary (cause I couldn’t wait one more stinkin’ day) that I was pregnant. He actually hadn’t gotten me anything yet so when he did go shopping he had bought two things – earrings with rubies (July’s birthstone and the supposed due date for the baby) and a Pandora charm necklace with a little heart charm. He hadn’t intended the heart charm to be for the baby but I figured, since it was bought about that time and I had told him, the charm now stood for the little heart that I had with me that day. I then got the idea to buy two charms for my necklace – turquoise for December, when it had actually left our little world, and ruby for July, when it was due to enter this world. It took all weekend but we finally found the charms. Now I wear the necklace every day.

Believe it or not, buying the charms was very helpful to me. It kind of gave me closure. I think James still needs something, though. I think he wants to give the little one a unisex name like we had read that someone did in one of the forums as the one and only thing that we can give to him/her. I think I’ll leave it up to James to pick a name. I think it will really help him just like the necklace helped me.

Now I can’t wait for the 20th. That’s when I go get my check up from the D&C. At that visit Dr. Choudhry will be able to tell me when we can try again. (Well… actually try next time. Last time we didn’t try.) She is very certain that things will go better next time. Apparently you are more likely to miscarry on your first than on your second. And since I already had gotten pregnant once, that means I’m not infertile and that we can have kids.

In preparation for next time, the Drs have kept me on the prenatals and on the higher dose of synthroid. James and I are also trying to prep too. We’re taking eating better more seriously as well as more exercise and establishing good habits. James won’t even let me clean the cat boxes still as he doesn’t want me to be in a “bad habit” for the next one. Lol. He’s so into the prepping that I’m surprised he let me have fish for dinner the other night. Lol.

Needless to say, we’ll be OK. And things should be better next time around, though we are taking all the precautions we can. I doesn’t help, though, that I am impatient. I want to try right now. Lol. But of course I have to wait for my Dr. to give the OK… Only 10 more days til my Dr appointment… Oi. lol.

.::~In Memory of Baby Melsha ~::.
 

One More Week!

One more week til we head back to FL for Christmas. I’m excited too. I haven’t had a normal Christmas in a long time. Course I probably won’t get everything I want like I used to as a kid, but at least I’ll be home, in my old bed and getting to just be at home.

So I gotta get my butt in gear because we only have a week. I need to wash all the clothes, get the presents ready, start packing the suitcase etc. And we gotta pick a day to do our Christmas since we won’t be bringing our presents with us to open there. It’s technically not a lot but I still gotta work and clean the house.

Well, this is just a short update so I’ll leave you with a couple pictures of my Christmas Kitty – Stix. Enjoy.

‘Tis The Season

(I really need to get better at blogging)

Ahh… It’s finally December! My favorite time of year! I’m actually really enjoying it this year even more than usual, not because we’re in our own house, but because of where we are. Cedar Park normally is about upper 60′s to mid 70′s. This December seems to be colder than normal. Today’s high was 47* and I don’t think it even got to that. I think mother nature is trying to make up for it being the hottest summer on record by being the coldest winter on record.

Thanksgiving was pretty good this year. Since we are no longer near family we spent it with some good friends in their new house. There were 6 of us and we had a blast. My peanut butter blossoms were a huge hit. People were diving into them before it was even dinner time. We had a blast. Everyone talked for a long time at dinner and then we all played games. I, unfortunately, was getting really tired about 11 PM and had to struggle to stay awake. We didn’t get home until about 1. Needless to say great fun was had by all.

Portalarium’s Christmas party was fun too. All the parties at Mr. Garriotts are fun. Great people and great food with lots of good conversation going on. This time I met a girl named Brekken who’s husband works with James. I later found out they live half a mile from our house! This is great cause now I’m making friends even closer to my house instead of 45 minutes away. Haha. Save on gas right? Anyway, Mr. Garriott gave his usual tour of his house and when he was done shared 3 bottles of wine with everyone. One was a Port from 1900, another wine from 1875 and another 40 yr old wine. I just can’t believe that he shared some amazing wines with everyone. It was very generous. I always look forward to his parties.

So before Thanksgiving I started decorating the house. As per my family’s tradition, we turn on the lights the night of Thanksgiving. Here’s what I’ve got up for this year.

I’m still missing some lights but since we won’t be here this Christmas I’m just going minimal. Next year we’ll have lights all the way around the top floor. We just need a bigger ladder.

As for the inside decorating, we had to get a new tree. This house is too small for our original tree so we decided on this beautiful tree with pine cones, berries, and is pre-lit. Here’s a few pics of the new tree and our ever changing living room.

Well, enjoy the photos for now. Will keep you updated on the Holiday Bliss

Appreciation

Earlier today I had a conversation with a friend through Facebook. In passing “appreciation” was mentioned. At the time, I didn’t really think anything of it but in talking with James it did get me thinking about myself, my generation, and the good ol’ USA.

I’m not exactly sure how to state my thoughts but let me start with the way the conversation with my friend was made – through Facebook.

A few months ago I lost a friend. They said part of it was because I argue like a child and the other was because I didn’t appreciate anything I had. While I admit I am not good at keeping my emotions out of heated arguments I didn’t understand where they got that I didn’t appreciate anything I had. But after talking with James I think I got it. And both my “emotional arguing” and “lack of appreciation” can be explained. I think I can also say that many people who say the above statements about a lot of other people is basically “the pot calling the kettle black.”

Facebook. Social Media. Technology in general. Our world is so obsessed with it especially here in America. After the comments made by my ex-friend I took a look at my old profile to fully understand what they meant. I had a lot of negative statuses. 99% were made out of boredom and I was just looking for a conversation starter. But now I can see how people would take it as me not being appreciative of what I have. Statuses like “I wish I had new curtains…” or anything that starts with “I wish…” and ends with an item other than a necessity. They can be taken as if I don’t appreciate the fact that I own a brand new house – as if all I can think about is wanting more than what I have when the fact is how lucky I am to even be able to own a house, car and other luxury items at 24 years old. That is how I think people perceive things on the internet. They take things either the right way or the complete opposite.

In all honesty I think my whole generation needs to re-examine themselves and what they have, myself included. By the very fact that my ex-friend basically broke our friendship via the internet means 1) they have a computer or access to one, 2) they have internet or access to it 3) they have enough money to pay for said items in 1 and/or 2. By the virtue of having these things they are already better off than most people in the world (that they claim I don’t think of) but because they covet the things I have (I can only assume), or think I have an easier time financially, anytime they see me wanting something that isn’t a necessity they interpret it as me not appreciating the things I have. I can only guess they view themselves as practically destitute compared to myself. I’d call this “the pot calling the kettle black” because both parties in our little disagreement as well as anyone who reads this is better off than a good chunk of the world.

In other parts of the world people don’t have clean drinking water, shelter, or food in their bellies. Yet here we are getting mad at each other through luxury items saying the other isn’t appreciative of what they got. I’ve heard on the news, YouTube, etc. how people they think they’re so poor because they can only afford basic cable or they can’t even afford cable. Even our homeless in America are better off than those in other countries. We have homeless shelters that pass out clean water and food and sometimes clothing. Everyone in America takes everything for granted.

Right now I am going to just say and make it clear that, as mentioned before, I KNOW I am extremely lucky to be blessed with a smart, creative, and hardworking husband, lucky to be blessed with the skills I myself have, the friends I have and the wonderful things God has given me – a beautiful new home, a brand new car, not having to struggle with finances, etc. and to be living in the best country.

We’re all dreaming and having wishful thoughts about the future. Some just voice it through social media, some to family and friends verbally. But many who have called me “ungrateful” or “unappreciative” have also mentioned, not necessarily on Facebook, but in passing on how they wish things were better and they could have all these cool items that are out on the market just like I have. Everyone is basically doing the same thing I am. I just have happened to use Facebook.

As I come to a close of my little rant, let me just say that things on Facebook can be taken out of context. If someone says something to upset you, remember that Facebook and the internet can take away the fact that you’re still talking to your friend and not just some random person on the other end and often people, like myself, don’t mean to say certain things or mean for things to be taken the wrong way. Given them a chance to explain and perhaps give them a second chance at your friendship. If something about them is bothering you, be honest with them. Maybe they didn’t know it bothered you and give them a chance to correct it. I was never offered that second chance… and so it still bothers me because they won’t let me have a second chance now that I know what bothered them….

(Also, I am working on not letting my emotions get to me in discussions and arguments. I realize this is a character flaw. I’ve been told I’m doing better but I do slip up so please forgive me.)

As a side note, instead of buying a fancy gadget for your loved one or asking for a fancy gadget, ask for people to donate some money to a charity of your choice. I personally will be doing the WWF and donating some items to local charities.

 

Tidying Up & Time for Fun

Our house is finally becoming a home! Well, it’s looking like one anyway. We finally got some curtains and our fan installed! The house is still a bit messy from all the changes but once I get the whole house clean I’ll make sure to take you through a tour of the house!

As you can see in the pic above we have nice, new, lovely curtains! Got them on sale too! It took forever to find curtains we liked and at that, they happen to be not making them anymore. At least we got them on sale. That makes up for it. We did take several weeks to find “the right curtains” and when we finally found a couple we liked, we spent another 2 hours deciding which ones to get. It was only hard because both sets we liked were on sale but because they were on sale that meant that parts were “missing” and in our case they were not going to make/sell anymore of them. So when we finalized the curtain we wanted a nice valance and spent a while finding one that matched enough since the original valance was no longer available. Needless to say, it was a very long day.

We finally started leaving the Crazy 8 out during the day while we’re gone. So far, so good. Though we haven’t tried since we got the curtains. Stix attempted to jump on the curtain rod thinking it was a shelf and Sara keeps playing in the curtain playing hide and seek. I’m hoping to break these little habits so I can leave them out again.

Initially what sparked us to attempt to leave them out is the fact that my mom is coming to visit this weekend and we wanted her to be in the guest room, not the cats. Not sure if it’ll happen but I plan on leaving them out all day tomorrow and possibly tomorrow night. Pray it goes well. @.@

On the subject of my mom coming – I’m excited! I love showing people the house and just having other people over. Where I work, I’m the only girl my age (out of 2 girls total) so there really isn’t much room for me to make best friends with anyone and the only other girl I know in town is allergic to cats. -.- So people don’t get to come over very often. But this weekend is about fun. We’ve decided to go to the Inner Space Caverns in Georgetown, about 15 min from the house. I plan on stopping by either the Round Rock or San Marcos Prime Outlet Malls for some new pants and taking my mom. I haven’t had girl time in… well… MONTHS.

Well, sorry for the short update but I gotta get back to watering the lawn and some laundry. Enjoy this pic of a beautiful Texas morning. This was yesterday, August 30th, 2011 at 7:30 AM and 75*. Such a great way to wake up.

Checking Things off the List

James and I finally got his severance check in the mail last Saturday and as soon as it cleared we put our debt free plan into action! Our goal is to pay everything off ASAP using the “debt snowball” that Dave Ramsey has “invented.” With his severance we started our debt free plan by checking off the first thing our our debt snowball – James’ credit card. Next thing on the list is my credit card. Here’s kind of what it looks like.

James’ Credit Card
Janaye’s Credit Card
Personal Debts
Car
Student Loans
House

We’re pretty confident that with that order we’ll be able to get things rolling in no time. It’ll probably take 5 years but our goal is to be debt free by the time we’re 30; or I am at least lol. However, if we don’t make it for some reason, we’ll just keep going. We just don’t want to have any debt.

Though we’re committed to this plan, we did give ourselves a few bucks to finish a bit of something in the house. We bought a fan with a light for the living room and curtains (well, the rod. Can’t find any curtains we like yet). I’ll post pics when we get everything installed.

Everything else seems fine and dandy. I’m trying to make some extra money on the side to help with our goal but it’s been hard. I want to do freelance photography but my poor little camera just doesn’t seem up to the challenge and so I need a new camera body. :\ And we all know that’s not cheap. At least $1k for a decent body. Who knows. Maybe I’ll find a good deal and we can use some savings to pay for it.

Well, that’s all the latest news on the Melsha Home Front. I’ll post more pics next time.

Some Relief

Not that things have been bad at all but, as I noted before, I worry too much about my car.

After visiting 3 different auto body shops in the area I think I have finally found the place I am going to go with. That place is Round Rock Collision.

Round Rock Collision not only had the lowest estimate but they actually showed me their facilities. They showed me their contained and special painting room and even showed me one where the guy was in the process of painting a bumper. I also got to see stuff that was just finished being painted and how well the paint matched as well as one in the process where it was drying after the base color and waiting for it’s metallic shine. After seeing all that and getting the estimate I knew it was the place. What sealed the deal was the lifetime warranty on the paint and the fact that it won’t void the car’s warranty and is the only Honda Certified auto body place in Austin.

Needless to say I feel good about this place and now I can finally get this thing over with.

Aside from my hunt for an auto body shop I feel I can trust to fix my car, not much else has been going on. It’s been the week and so it’s been fairly quiet and slow. I do want to say this though:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!